It is crazy cold outside, tonight it’s going to get down to -16, but it is as warm and toasty inside the living room as a spring day, not only because my husband can make a fire like no other, but he can also shop like no other. He has spoiled me with gorgeous calla lilies and a beautiful bowl of succulents.
This week has been a muddled week of pain, sleeplessness and a lot of emotional turmoil. It’s been hard to try to undo certain learned behaviors, this one has been the hardest, not putting others before me. This one had been especially difficult because it goes against every lesson my own mother has taught since toddlerhood, plus I love taking care of people. The other tough lesson has been the one to grit you teeth and bear it, this line of thinking is anathema in cancer land. I may be their worst patient simply because I had been so contrarian about pain management. My doctors, lovely people, all of them, must be so weary trying to convince me as patiently and gently as possible, that taking pain medication is simply a matter of fact part of my daily ritual and there is no judgement. They are, of course, right, I’m sure they are taking their time to explain everything to me because they care and have respect for me, they want me to understand that this pain management is of such utter importance that it is worth not only my time, but their time as well, to engage me into understanding narcotics.
I am getting tired and I hope I made sense, this narcotics business can get tricky if you get my drift LOL
I was going for the Debra Messing look, I adore her and her new show “The Mysteries of Laura” It is one of my favorite new shows on t.v and I can’t get enough of her character “Laura Diamond” she wears plaid button down shirts, she isn’t tooth pick thin and she isn’t shy about wearing hats when it’s cold. She acts like a realistic New Yorker who just happens to be a detective.
I think I got the glasses pretty close, maybe not funky enough, but I like them and that is what counts.
I already watched this week’s episode of The Mysteries of Laura Wednesday night’s on NBC at 8:00, it was great.
I am tired, I’ll look for something to watch to help me rest and get drowsy.
Right now I am a crosswords with the things I can drink and eat, the detour has happened with the temperature. Now if the drink or food is too cold, getting it past the Troll sized tumor has become painful to the Middle Ages version of torture. I think that I have stood up to the cancer for long enough and I need to start exploring other options; such as a feeding tube for one and medical marijuana as the second.
Right now I am simmering a potato and leek soup, soup has a legendary status in my family over in France, they will not eat a meal without it, well that is an exaggeration for 99% of my family, the one who literally stands away from the pack is my Ton Ton Leon. He cannot imagine a meal without a soup, his soup gets its own wine, just like a dessert would, it is one of the most important features within the meal.
If I have made this soup a thousand times, I wouldn’t be surprised. As I was speaking to our daughter, while I was making it, I asked her if she remembered the last one I have made, she couldn’t, I said “that’s funny enough because I fell right asleep after making the soup, but if I hadn’t, I would have taught you that I make the soup the exact same way time after time. This soup like so many others can be catalogued for years to come, it should be started with a type of journal and tools such as a butcher’s knife and an immersion blender. My soups are all formulas and proportions, nothing difficult.
3 chopped onions, sauteed until caramelized,
8 leeks using the whites only, which are split in half and then sliced in half inch pieces and soaked in cold water to get rid of the dirt, drain them in a colander and add them to the caramelized onions.
6 cloves of garlic smashed and chopped and added to the leeks and onions along with salt, pepper, thyme and oregano.
I peeled 4 small to medium potatoes, sliced them into pieces and added to the soup after which I added I box of organic chicken stock and 3 cans of organic chicken stock.
I did all this as I had the fire on medium and then I put it down to low for about 40 minutes, I wanted the potatoes cooked so that I could pulverize them into a creamy soup and I got my wish.
When I turned the corner into the dining room and saw this exquisite bloom, my stress melted away. Hibiscus blooms are one of my favorites, I love their delicate crepe paper appearance with the strong sword of their gorgeous reproductive organs(their yellow stamen and their red pistil) boldly jutting out for all the bees, humming birds and butterflies to see.
I love having seasonal blooms outside their season in my house, it makes me feel like the best gardener in the world.
Today was mother and son day, much in the way it has been mother and daughter day these past few weeks, after radiation and a weekly trip to oncology, we had a few hours to spare before seeing the psychiatrist, so we decided to have lunch at Noodles on Main Street in Northampton, as you can tell from the pictures, it’s Asian in character and it really hit the spot. It had started snowing right about now, so big hot bowls of noodle soup were perfect.
We still had some time to spare so my son took me to the Roost for cafe lattes and a game of chess. He is an excellent chess player and by that time, my mind was pain reliever addled, so I mimed writing a letter to my pawns and my officers being sacrificed left and right due to my poor medicated choices lol. My son had a good laugh at that.
As Scarlett O’Hara said “after all, tomorrow is another day”
I dislike roller coasters, not only because I am frightened of heights, the unknown isn’t too enjoyable either. Today I feel as if I am riding an emotional roller coaster and I would like to get off the ride right now. I woke up throughout the night in pain, I took my medicine and the medicine contributes to the emotional ride, however, emotionally there aren’t any highs, only lows and the dips are pretty deep. My eyes are leaking without respite and I hate it. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Jack and Lulu have already been featured in my previous bath time segments, they were well behaved so the post was basically boring, pictures of wet dogs, standing calmly, while being bathed, if it isn’t your dog, how entertaining can that be?
I thought with Stanley’s size, bath time would have been funny, havoc ridden, something out of the ordinary, but no. Stanley took it calmly like his older brother and sister, they would have been proud if they had been in the bathroom. They were outside searching for chipmunks, so they came in after the fact to a wet Stanley. Stanley doesn’t mind being rubbed down, he loves the attention. The only challenge is keeping him inside until he dries off completely, it’s cold outside and we don’t want him to catch anything.
Our little storm gave us 3 inches, just enough to make it fun and interesting for Stanley to frolic around like the galumphagus he is, I’m glad he loves it, it reminds me of the days of Marshall and Rex, they spent hours running around in circles in the back, grabbing at the snow with their mouths, it was beautiful to watch. Stanley was doing just that, it tugged at my heartstrings, I miss Marshall and Rex so much at times. I feel so very lucky having our trio, they didn’t replace Marshall, Rex or Tuck, but they remind us on a daily basis how lucky we were to have them in our lives, they do it by being just as special.
My dear friend Mary, left me a lovely surprise on our breezeway just the other morning, three pots of primroses, with the sweetest card. We are essentially planning to put these in the garden come this Spring, my challenge is to keep them alive and healthy from now until then, not much pressure don’t you think ;)?
In Norse legend the Primrose was Freya’s flower and stood for young love, moreover, the primrose was also seen to represent the woman. The petals on the blossom stood for the various stages of life – birth, initiation, followed by consummation. Then there’s repose and in the end, death. I think when it is all taken together in context, Mary chose very well, we are all involved in the circle of life, some do it prettier than others and the Primrose most definitely does it delicately and sweetly. I can’t wait to plant them with Mary this Spring, we are going to have a nice time planting together.