Today is not about having writer’s block; it is about getting out from under the cloud of depression. Yesterday was a tough day; driving round trip to Boston and then dealing with my husband’s bout of food poisoning, laundry and remaking the bed, worrying about my husband’s well-being because whatever he ate while he was gone, made him very ill. I suppose between the physical fatigue and the emotional and mental worry, I woke up in a blanket of depression which is more often then not lying right beneath the surface.
I know that I am prone to depression chemically in my brain, it goes hand in hand with eating disorders, according to the literature, the experts aren’t sure which came first, the depression or the eating disorder; but there is a strong link between the two. I fight very hard not to let it overwhelm me and I stick to what works for me even when it might not be working at that very instance; I eat as healthy as possible, I walk as much as possible, I write every day, I take care of Jack, taking care of others is very important in keeping depression at bay, at least for me; it gives me a sense of purpose and it makes me feel good when I see my charges happy, well fed and thriving. I engage in my passions; cooking and baking as often as possible, but still sometimes all of that is not enough to keep the intense heavy fog from infiltrating my emotional recesses and engulfing me with its suffocating heaviness. Writing about it today is helping even if it isn’t going away right this second, it is best to get all of this off my chest rather than let it fester, where it can do unseen damage by lingering. My title of writer’s block was really about finding the courage to write about how badly I feel and sharing it, rather then not having anything to write about, that might often be the case with what one thinks of writer’s block.
Tomorrow is a new day and I am sure that tonight I will sleep much better. I foresee a brighter day and a brighter outlook.