Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.
I remember relating quite a bit to the book, the movie stirred my young adolescent heart, what with all of the good-looking young men up on the screem, my beating heart interfered with the storyline, thank goodness for the tranquilty of the written page so that I could identify with and appreciate the story’s deeper meaning. lol
School, at least from elementary through to high school, was an outsider experience, I often felt as if I was on the other side of the glass, looking on and looking in towards a sea of others who had figured something out in their favor while I was swimming solo in a state of confusion. In my eyes, it seemed that there existed a group of individuals who innately knew that they were superior, they belonged and they determined the social order, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how they knew this, who told them this and why was it such a comfortable assumption for them.
According to the latest psychological literature, supposedly these apex adolescents were as insecure as the rest of us, their attitudes supposedly belied the real them, but I am still not too sure with that prognosis. So many were far too sure of themselves at that young age, almost as if they were bestowed with something that escapes most, at least early on, though there are many who discover it later in life. I am pretty sure that childhood is supposed to be the time of confusion and doubt, how else does one learn? If you enter childhood, already sure of your place in society, how will you learn to adapt and grow if circumstances change? I wonder if this is what creates the phenomena called “peaking” when your best self was at high school and the rest of your life doesn’t quite capture any similar highs. I’m glad I haven’t peaked yet. lol I still have progress to make before I’m done.
Am I still an outsider? I don’t think so, I have a circle of friends and family who love me and accept me for who I am, or who they think I am, because we are many things to many people, which is, I think, something good and necessary, everyone deserves their own special piece of you, it makes it easier for you to share yourself.