We met my medical oncologist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Doctor Gainor, he was very pleasant, very nice, he spent a lot of time with us, explaining everything, he took the time to lay out the reasons for continued chemotherapy, that was my main concern. He took a deep breath and broke the news as well as anyone could given what the news turned out to be, the squamous cell carcinoma had decided to take a road trip into my blood stream, it is now systemic. So basically there isn’t a cure for my squamous cell carcinoma, I am going to have chemotherapy for as long as it takes to keep the cancer in check. I’m still in shock at the news, my mind hasn’t wrapped itself around the concept of having a long term relationship with chemo. I have to say Doctor Gainor was very sensitive to our emotions when he gently told us that my cancer was incurable and my chemotherapy was to be ongoing, intermittent with CT scans, monitoring the size of the tumors in my lungs plus keeping a lookout for any new tumors elsewhere.
Before my treatment starts, I have one more CT scan to establish another baseline and a MRI for my brain, I’ve been getting headaches, so they want to rule out any possibility of tumors in the brain, it is highly doubtful that I have any in my brain, they are just being extremely vigilant and diligent before we start my chemo cycles.
I’m in shock, it all feels surreal, but I feel positive, I flashed on something Gandolf said to Frodo in the “Lord of the Rings”
“All that is for you to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.” Those words inspired me and gave me comfort.
It’ll be fine.